-----Original Message-----
From: AJ Johnson [mailto:ajj@tpri.com]
Sent: Thursday, November 08, 2001 10:00 AM
Subject: gobble gobble: why bother?
Why bother coming to this year's Gobble Gobble Bowl?
Wegley, because it's better than going to Belleville for Thanksgiving
Annie, because even Belleville's better than Branson
Amy, because Ron acts a lot better when you let him come out and play
Ehlers, because next year you'll have to ask for permission to come out and
play
Matt, because you've got several pimps begging you to let them play too
Weitl, because this year we never got together to play poker
Fred, because no way no how you just can't tackle in poker
Slifkette, because what's a tackle but a vicious hug -- and you're allowed
to do that now
Caine, because when you step on the field you epitomize the word 'vicious'
Beth, because if anyone calls you a Sun Devil you're going to get vicious
Robb, because you sold your knees to the devil
Goldie, because you sold your cleats to the devil
Julie, because my cleats are far less dangerous than my sandals
Suzan, because it's not dangerous unless the wind chill is at least 30 below
Erik, because trust me, the wind's a lot colder when you're outside the frat
house tied naked to a tree
Rachel, because even if he's in a frat we want you to bring your boyfriend
Becky, because Rachel might not bring her boyfriend
David, because Becky might be there
Mark, because this is a different Becky
Anne, because, alas, this is the same Mark
Kathy, because you don't know either Mark or Anne, but I know you'd pay to
see Squeaks play
Squeaks, because I've got another dollar in it for you if you show
Herman, because I hear at football games you give a good show
Slifka, because even the mariachi band can't put on a show like Tyrone
Smitty, because no one in your band can sing "Chocolate Salty Balls"
Joyce, because who knows how to sprinkle sugar on the chocolate Thanksgiving
sweets like momma
Kate, because the gingerbread man decided instead to spend it with his sugar
mama
Debby, because you don't have to do the gingerbread thing until Christmas
Ken, because they don't let you play golf until after Christmas
Erin, because Lilliput is shut down for the holidays too
Jenni Lee, because I never see you downtown
Liz, because I owe a big hug when I see you
Roderick, because Iowa sucks
Adam, because you do your share of trash talking as well
Tom, because actually you're all about the game
Brett, because you've all but actually had the drink *at* the game
Kristin, because you may drink like a champion, but you still have to prove
you can play like one
Will, because if you play like a champion we'll give you a field commission
to general
Steve, because if Will plays well you'll get a chance to bury the general
Deniz, because even if you don't bring your roommate there's still a good
chance Justin will get smacked
Joe, because there's at least a chance Deniz will bring her roommate
Chad, because when you sign your name it's at least a bad fissure
Lisa, because when you sign your name it's Lisa and Chad Fischer
Jim, because it's your signature on all those pictures
Jaime, because I promise absolutely no pictures of you riding a tractor
Scotty, because all my friends love the pictures of you making me look bad
Sarah, because all my friends love the lowe rider
Susan, because it's either this or you let me ride around on the zam some
Wednesday night
Derksen, because you know you'll have all Wednesday night to rest up
Ryan, because in football, like skiing, you won't rest until you can say you
were . . . inverted
Suzy, because you and I were meant for each other, so take me to the end
zone or lose me forever
Justin, because deep down you know I meant Suzy and you
Joy, because deep down you want to say you'll be there and for the first
time in your life actually mean it
Mandy, because for the first time in your life you're starting to realize
where home really should be
Grigg, because home is just too damn far away
Chrissy, because it's only a 7 hour flight home from Scotland
Josh, because it's only a 7 hour flight home from Scotland
And everyone else, because all too soon time will pass you by.
Gobble Gobble Bowl VIII
Thanksgiving Day
Thursday, November 22, 2001, 10:00 AM CST
STC East High School football practice fields
http://www.tpri.com/~ajj/bowlgame.htm