-----Original Message-----
From: AJ Johnson [mailto:ajj@tpri.com]
Sent: Thursday, November 13, 2003 10:01 AM
Subject: effective Thursday, November 27, 2003, 10:00 AM CST
The following rule changes, additions, and clarifications will be effective beginning with Gobble Gobble Bowl X.
Pregame warmup:
Stretching exercises will be performed prior to game time. Although said
calisthenics are not mandatory, they are highly recommended and the
proprietors of the game are not liable for any injuries resulting from a
failure to properly prepare for the game. If you bust your lip on the first
play of the game that means you were probably talking too much beforehand.
Team selection:
It is illegal to deliberately select a weak team in the early draft rounds
in an effort to lure the other team into feeling guilty and giving away
valuable late round acquisitions, not to mention picking a team with twice
as many women and getting slaughtered. Falling for this ploy, on the other
hand, is just plain stupid.
Game apparel:
Elastic waistbands, both interior and exterior, shall be designed to resist
a simultaneous vertical and horizontal thrust of 75 lb/ft applied at the
rear of the pants. A good rule of thumb is if an opposing player lays out
and grabs you by the back of the waistband, you better go down before your
pants do. Dragging that player behind you while you keep on trucking is
considered good form.
Play from scrimmage:
If the little guy that no one knows and hasn't said a word all game makes a
miraculous catch on a 40 yard bomb over triple coverage, but he lands
backwards and cracks his head on the ground, his team will immediately be
awarded a two minute timeout so he can remember his name. Otherwise we'd
have a hard time checking him into a hospital for treatment of that
concussion.
Play review:
Starting this year instant replay will officially be used to review all
close plays. If a player wishes to challenge a call on the field he may
immediately reenact the play, showing how though he was falling out of
bounds he clearly stretched out with the ball back inbounds so that it
crossed the plane of the goal line inside the cone and should hence be ruled
a touchdown.
Point-After-Touchdowns:
Each successive PAT attempt will be extended an additional five yards from
the previous spot. This applies to all kicks, successful or failed, by
either team. Like the no-significant-others-on-the-same-team clause, this
has actually always been the rule; people just never seem to remember.
Spectator restrictions:
All spectators are required to remain at least five (5) yards from the
playing field at all times. It is absolutely prohibited to interfere with
any pass thrown down the sideline, even if said pass appears to be
out-of-bounds. Violations will result in eviction from the stands and,
depending on the severity of the infraction, I may go on Letterman and blame
you for the loss.
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Gobble Gobble Bowl X
Thanksgiving Day
Thursday, November 27, 2003, 10:00 AM CST
STC East High School football practice fields
http://www.gobblegobblebowl.com